Tuesday, December 08, 2009

I KNEW it!

It wasn't the feeling of a coughing fit coming on! It was my sixth sense, warning me. This week IS going to be a longggg week.

Remember how I mentioned in my last post that I needed to find the energy to make potato soup sometime this week? Well, I thought I had enough energy last night. I thought I had enough energy to peel the potatoes anyway...I also thought I might have enough energy to get all of the ingredients together and in the crock-pot for tonight's dinner. I DID NOT, however, think that I had enough energy to clean my entire kitchen...but sometimes life has a sense of humor.
Do you know how many potato skins you will have, once you skin 5lbs of potatoes? A Lot! You will have an entire sink full of potato skins, once you skin 5lbs of potatoes!
Sev and I peeled 5lbs of potatoes last night. After the peeling process was complete, I went about pushing the skins down into the disposal...because that's what you do when you barely have enough energy to peel the potatoes in the first place. You don't scoop the skins out of the sink and walk them to the trash can, because that would require WAY TOO much energy! No, you push the potato skins down the drain, all the while hearing your fathers voice in the back of your mind saying "don't put those egg shells down the drain! Don't put those apple cores down the drain! Don't put those potato skins down the drain! You will clog the pipes or tear the disposal up!" No...you don't listen to that annoying voice....you push the potato skins down the drain because that's just what you do when you don't have a lot of energy and when you forget that your dad has lived a tad bit longer than you.
I had just pushed the last of the potato skins down the drain when it happened. The disposal started making a funny noise. Do you know what you DON'T do when the disposal starts to make a funny noise? I'll tell you. You DON'T put your head over the sink, cock it to the side, and stand there trying to peer down into the drain, wondering why the disposal is making a funny noise. You don't do that because it will probably send chopped potato skins, dirty sink water and unidentifiable black goo shooting into the air. A good 2 feet in the air! No lie.
However, THAT is exactly what I did last night! After I found myself covered in all the above mentioned items, I scrambled to flip the disposal switch off. I turned to look at Sev, who was sitting at the kitchen table, a spoon paused half way to his mouth, and his eye wide. He dared to say "uhhh what just happened?" He stood up, walked over to me, looked down into the sink, and FLIPPED the switch back on! I'm not sure what his thought process was. I don't know if he thought I had received all that the sink had to offer, or if he just wanted to make me feel better by dowsing himself with sink crud. Either way, water shot out of our sink even higher than before. It covered my cabinets and slung potato skins as far out as the fridge, on the other side of the kitchen (not that my kitchen is that big, but still a good couple of feet away).
That is when Sev decided that the best plan, to fix the problem, is to go under the sink.
I can't tell you how happy I am that I insisted on taking everything out from under my sink before he began to ...well.... "fix" the problem.
I had just removed all of the items out from under the sink and was standing in the kitchen door way when I thought "you know, I should probably grab some towels..just in case." I turned to go and grab a handful of towels, was a few short steps away when I heard "CRASH...OH CRAP!...SWOOOSHHHHHHH...drip" (or something very similar). I turned around and there was Sev, sitting in the kitchen floor, holding a pipe that was once part of our kitchen sink plumbing.
Dirty sink water, chopped potato skins and goopy black yuck is all over Sev and the kitchen floor. It is pouring out from under the sink and running under the fridge and cabinets.
I tried to soak up as much water from around Sev as I could while Sev peeled down to the only dry clothes left on him...his boxers.
Here we are, in our kitchen full of potato skins and sink water, Sev in his boxers and me with potato skins clinging to my hair. I don't think either of us said a word. Sev crawled back under the sink and started to mess around with the plumbing that was still intact. I got on my hands and knees and started chasing the potato skins that were trying to float under the appliances.
That is also the exact moment that the dish washer decided to go into its rinse cycle. Oh yeah, did I mentioned that before I even started peeling potatoes, I loaded and started the dish washer? Yeah, I did.
Do you know what happens when the dish washer goes into its rinse cycle? I'll tell you.
It sends all of the dirty, soapy, dish water into the same plumbing pipes as the kitchen sink. Do you know what happens when there is a missing pipe from the plumbing system under the kitchen sink? I'll tell you.
Your husband and you will now be standing in even more potato skins, dirty, soapy, smelly, water. Your husband, who ironically had his head under the sink this time, will crawl out from under the sink with unidentifiable goop dripping from his ears. You will then have two options, you can throw up your hands and scream at the top of your lungs or you can look at each other, covered in goop, he in his boxers and you now with wet knees, to go along with the wet shirt and potato skins in your hair, and laugh. We went with option #2. We looked at each other and busted out laughing. What else could we do.
We spent the better part of our evening cleaning our kitchen. Sev ran to Lowe's while I picked up potato skins. He came home and fixed the plumbing and I scrubbed down the cabinets, kitchen counters, sink, floor, walls, and base boards. We fished potato skins out of our hair and said "good night".

I wonder what today will have in store for us.
It's going to be a longgggg week.


Meredith said...

When I read the first line about potato skins in the sink, I said, "NOOOOOOO!" Keith and I have learned about that ourselves. HOWEVER, we had a few potatoes... not FIVE POUNDS! And the dishwasher wasn't running! Oh my, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I read this.

mom said...

I am sorry to hear about this misfortune Lindsey but I did however, get the biggest belly laugh of my life. I can just see you two in that kitchen. Laughing at each other. Glad you've got a good sense of humor. Love you,Mom

Autumn said...

Ok, even though I already saw your comment on facebook I am hollering reading this!!! You are way too funny :) I clogged my disposal up with soy bean shells once...thankfully they didn't come back up all over me, but I won't put them down the disposal again.

Jackie said...

Been there done that. I tried to stuff a bunch at a time down the sink and clogged it up also. BUT I still put the peels down the sink just a FEW at a time with the water running and the disposal on. Hasn't happened again. Glad you could laugh at it, best way to get thru life....along with a lot of prayer.
P.S. Thanks for the good laugh.

Keith said...

Meredith mentioned that we have been there but now that we compost we don't have those problems. Egg shells, apple cores, potato skins, and coffee grinds all go in with leaves and grass clippings and out comes out great dirt from planting. I have been impressed with how easy and awesome it is. You guys should try it and it will alievate some of these problems in the future.

R said...

Rollin on the floor now...I haven't laughed this hard in I don't know when. Lindz, you sure have a way to paint a story. I guess life lessons are for one and all. Bet you try and pass this lesson on too one day.

love you guys, dad

Anonymous said...

OMG I'm so rolling on the floor laughing because quite truthfully it's hilarious now :) It sounds like a scene out of a Stephanie Plum book series I read :)